"HE" made it possible for "ME" to be there

To my siblings and family:

That wants to know, why is dad and I are together!

When you ask me why am I with dad? I don't know either!

So, when I ask God, Why am I still with dad and why is it taking me forever to leave.

GOD SAYS: I-GOD HAVE ALWAYS MADE IT SO THAT YOU WOULD BE WITH YOUR DAD & MOM.

GOD SAYS: YOU HAVE ALWAYS BEEN WITH YOUR DAD....And I-God really need you to be with your dad now!!!

GOD REMINDED ME - HOW I WAS ALWAYS WITH MOM & DAD:

(this is not to discount anyone else of what you have done...this is how God had to remind me of my time with our parents).

1. I was with mom and dad everyday (at 7 yrs old) planting trees, planting grass and improving the house.

2. I was with dad everyday (at 8 yrs old) on his trucks on the air-force base.

3. I was with dad everyday (at 13 yrs old) with starting and running his Sanitation Business.

4. I helped dad move to NJ and then move to Netcong, and then move to Parsippany, and then move to East Orange and then move back to Conway.

5. I came to the house everyweek to cut the grass, cut the hedges, help around the house and rub mom's feet and massage her shoulders.

6. Mommy lead me to church to be saved. Mommy was the only there when I was baptized.

7. I had to tell dad I believed in Christ not Solomon.....Hardest thing, I ever had to do in my life!

8. I was with mommy every day for months when she was in the hospital. I did the chores, I kept up the house and the yard while dad worked.

9. I was with dad every day & every night in Charleston at MUSC while he was in the hospital for heart surgery. I kept up the house, the yard and stayed with mom. All while taken care of my own family then with three children.

10. I saved the house (harkeem helped with $4,000) I still found $75,000 more.

11. I was the last one to see mom alive (God orchestrated that). I was the last one to feed her watermelon, I was last one to shave her mustache, I was the last one to massage her feet and shoulders and I was the one to "verify" she was in-deed, studying and reading God's Word.

12. I drove dad to Baltimore, CT and other Nation of Islam events

13. I am with dad: As he cries at night, as he is losing his faculties, urinating on the floor, putting cream on his back, talking with him for hours. encouraging him as he encourages me etc.

again; this is for my own rememberance (to remind me, of my roots, to remind me I am not selfish and uncaring)..

God had to allow all of these situations to work-out in order for "me" to have been positioned to be available to do be with dad and mom during these times.

Everyone of them were hard, hurtful, emotional and really not my choice or where I would have chosen to be: did I want to be working on the trash-truck 100 degree weather while my friends were playing, did I wanna be cutting that grass in the 100 degree heat, did I want to be sitting in the hospital, did I want to be sitting through solomon sermons, do I wanna be sleeping in a closest -embarressed to no-end cleaning-up after our dad? The Answer...God has anointed me to learn to love it, whether I like it or not! My life is not my own!

I am not giving myself any "coo-does". I am attempting to explain in a way that you can understand, why God is doing what He is doing. He positioned-me to do these things before I was born, before I knew Him! Why is dad, Armand and I together, why am I working so hard and seemingly not making much progress and why are these various uncomfortable things happening (I can't quite explain it clearly either; and I have questions, frustrations and hurt about it just like You).

I am simply doing all that I know to do to keep myself available for God to use me or work through me!

WHY IS ARMAND TOGETHER WITH US?

1. I am the one birthed him.

2. I am the one who has, is and still showing him Who he is in Jesus.

3. I was the one who was running frantically with his lifeless 12 year old body in my arms looking for help.

4. Countless-times: I am the one who has taken him to the emergency room or rode in the ambulance with him "every-time" to the emergency room and sat with him and brung him home because of his allergic reactions.

5. I am the one whose been able to get to him no-matter where he was, when he was having an allergic reaction.

6. I encourage him and I provide opportunities for him.

7. He is chaste and He is not in the streets because he learns from me and he is watching me.

8. He is a great Producer and a Videographer and is working on several major projects.

9. He is a great musician....

10. It's being groomed for greatness.

11. He has made mistakes, he is he making mistakes...Just like me, you and your children.....

12. Are we doing ALL THAT WE KNOW TO DO, to correct them and strive for excellence and GREATNESS? YES WE ARE!!

You do not see the everyday small successes like we do! Which is why we can continue striving for greatness even though we know-of people's low opinion of us and we know how family and friends are talking about us and criticizing of us!

YOU DON'T HAVE TO KNOW WHAT HAS BEEN DONE IN OUR HOUSE, WHAT IS BEING DONE IN OUR HOUSE AND WHAT WILL BE DONE IN OUR HOUSE!

JUST LIKE WE DON'T KNOW ALL THAT IS GOING ON IN YOUR HOUSE!

JUST KNOW GOD IS IN TOTAL CONTROL!

However, If we are going to be a loving family;................ a simple conversation about why things are happening good or bad is required for each of our understanding and our comfort. Just ask - first.....

GET UNDERSTANDING BEFORE YOU ACT OR BEFORE YOU START CALLING AROUND TALKING ABOUT THE SITUATION OR CRITICIZING!

WHEN I DO THAT FOR YOU AND YOU DO THAT FOR ME....That's when happiness and generational wealth for our entire family, our children and our children's children's children will happen......because we and our children are all doing dumb-stuff everyday.

Things are hardly ever as they appear (satan will do his best to get you to look at any situation in the worst way you can)!

If you simply take a moment to judge your own mistakes and your past especially those that no one (seemingly knows about) you won't be so harsh on the person that you believe has messed-up. Because some-times the person has NOT messed-up at all, you just simply got the wrong information or understanding about the situation or the person.

According to God, We are to never respond to what we see or hear! We respond how God tells us to respond!

Everyone makes a decision or does a particular thing because of their information, understanding or experience (what may be wrong to you is not wrong to them or how you may have handled the situation is not how they knew how to handle the situation).

There is a caring and loving-way to handle every-thing (even when disappointment or hurt is involved). It starts with communication and understanding from both sides.

Family is Love and Designed by God.

This is what I got from God, when I asked him why am I so crazy and why do I keep making such dumb mistakes and dumb decisions.